Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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