ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
