chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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