with your own penis?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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