FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
