**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
