have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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