i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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