we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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