I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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