we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
how drunk are you?
Several
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
