Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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