what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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