That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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