I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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