i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
