I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
