you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
