how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
