so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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