walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I forgot how hot balto sounded
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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