So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
