I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she told me i tasted like america
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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