I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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