Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
