I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
