I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
