You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
