My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
