i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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