I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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