Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
