who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
