I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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