I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
