I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
