Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
