"it" just moved
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
