He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
