Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
