Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Randomize
