I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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