I wish i was in the wii world.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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