I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
