I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
