Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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