My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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