so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
