We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
