Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
