This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
